Often to be accepted to run a marathon, you must raise money for a cause to get a guaranteed ballot. That was not my case for the NYC Marathon. My guaranteed ballot acceptance came right around the time I was diagnosed with OCD, a form of anxiety. OCD is something I struggled with my whole life, but I had no idea what it was. It’s a point I’ll come back to. The NYC Marathon was always something I felt like I needed to participate in. I grew up just outside of the city and year after year I would see the runners on TV making that journey over the bridge through miles, I never thought possible to run. But I wanted to be one of them. As a runner you’re supposed to identify your ‘why?’ When I started running back in 2016 my ‘why’ was for all the wrong reasons. It was to become thin; I was uncomfortable in my body and put pressure on myself to run fast and hard to look the way I wanted. It never made me any happier, in fact it made me miserable. Eventually I dropped running for other fitness pursuits to stay in shape. It wasn’t until quarantine, when all the gyms were closed, that I picked running back up for my mental health. A friend recommended the Nike Run App. The coach came over the headphones and immediately told me to run easy, relaxed. I strangely had never thought of that before. That was my first run I finished not out of breath, rather in control. I realized running didn’t have to be as miserable as I thought it was. It was actually enjoyable.

Running helped me get through the hardest times of Covid isolation. It continued as a hobby through this past year when I uprooted my life and moved to London. But of course, running is not a cure all. In March I reached out to a therapist through the NHS because my anxiety had become even worse. I was alone in a new country, still trying to make friends, and adjusting to a new way of life. My brain would focus on all the wrong things and make me more scared. My therapist confirmed what I already knew, I had rumination OCD. When you’re in a bad mental state, it’s easy to feel alone. But it was with the strength of my friends and family who shared their experiences with mental health that gave me the courage to share my own journey. We all face struggles in life, sometimes they just take a different shape.

Through training for this marathon I have found a new ‘why.’ Mental Toughness. I am training my own resilience. At one point in my life, I never thought I could run a mile let alone a marathon, but here I am about to conquer 26.2 miles in one of the greatest cities in the world. However, running a marathon just for my own mental toughness, feels silly. I did not get here on my own. Some people aren’t as lucky to have as supportive of a community as I do. So that’s why with less than a month left until race day, I am raising money for Minding Your Mind, an organization that provides mental health education to kids, teens, young adults, their parents, teachers, and school administrators. Minding Your Mind programs move away from crisis-based response to prevention through education. They are helping end the stigma of mental health, especially for those in underserved communities. Every little bit helps and provides access to mental health resources and education for adolescents and families. Every little bit helps, your donation would mean the world!

"Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they're never weakness." — Brené Brown